Feedback is so personal that both positive and negative feedback is uncomfortable, embarrassing and hard to accept. But the thing about feedback is that it's absolutely necessary for both personal development and the success of a company. So why is feedback so difficult?
Feedback might be one of the most controversial and feared actions in business life. This is the case for both the receiver and the sender. Most managers say they dislike giving feedback and receivers say they do not get enough feedback that they can actually use to develop.
An interesting phenomenon is that the receivers tend to focus on the negative aspects of the message and research shows that this phenomenon is linked to our student life. When students receive feedback on tests and exams they tend to focus on the things they do incorrectly, rather than improving their knowledge by looking at what they did correctly. Sometimes it can be hard do actually interpret what the sender wants to say. Negative feedback is hard to send, because it involves total honesty and emotions on either side. The result is that senders tend to hide the negative aspects of the messages in-between positive aspects, making the actual message of negative feedback drown. This make development hard and the message must often be repeated which causes confusion and stress.
Cannon, a professor of leadership and organizational studies, claims that feedback should focus on business outcomes. When feedback is framed as a mean to reach a specific business goal, the message is more easily seen as an opportunity to solve a problem rather than to criticize. This benefits not only the sender, but the feedback is suddenly being focused on the employee's development.
Another overlooked point is that practice makes perfect. If feedback is given, it often becomes easier for the sender to deliver and also for the receiver to receive. Also, when only given once or twice a year at formal feedback sessions, the sessions are filled by nervosity and anxiety. Research shows that the result becomes a natural response of fighting and fighting and not the thoughtfulness an effective feedback session requires.
Professor Cannon makes another good point: "There is a big difference between understanding and changing," he says. It is rarely enough to have the conversation. Managers should follow through because change is difficult! Even a slight movement outside of our comfort zone creates enormous tension, and although we might think we have changed, others may think we have not. Research explains this by stereotype. Human nature makes it difficult for others to see us differently. There are several reasons to why feedback is so difficult. There are also several solutions to how we can make it easier. Respect among the sender and the receiver and mutual trust are key points. Therefore asking for feedback on feedback is a good idea. Feedback is important, and no matter how difficult feedback is, everybody needs feedback, and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than paying a trainer.
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